Monthly Archives: August 2009

Holiness

“There has been of late years a lower standard of personal holiness among believers than there used to be in the days of our fathers.  The whole result is that the Spirit is grieved and the matter calls for much humiliation and searching of heart….The cure, I am convinced, is to be found in a clearer apprehension of the nature and sinfulness of sin.

We must go back to ‘the old paths.’  We must sit down humbly in the presence of God, look the whole subject in the face, examine clearly what the Lord Jesus calls sin, and what the Lord Jesus calls doing His will.  We must then try to realize that it is terribly possible to live a careless, easy-going, half-worldly life, and yet at the same time to maintain evangelical principles and call ourselves evangelical people!  Once let us see that sin is far viler and far nearer to us, and sticks more closely to us than we supposed, and we shall be led, I trust and believe, to get nearer to Christ.  Once drawn nearer to Christ, we shall drink more deeply out of His fullness, and learn more thoroughly to ‘live the life of faith’ in Him, as St. Paul did. Once taught to live the life of faith in Jesus and abiding in Him, we shall bear more fruit, shall find ourselves more strong for duty, more patient in trial, more watchful over our poor weak hearts, and more like our Master in all our little daily ways.  Just in proportion as we realize how much Christ has done for us, shall we labor to do much for Christ.  Much forgiven, we shall love much.”

JC Ryle ~ Holiness, 1879


The “Work” of Change

“In repentance, we cooperate with God in this marvelous work, playing a crucial part that he expects us to fulfill and gives us the grace to execute. Indeed, we are always invited by God to ‘work out your own salvation with fear and trembling’ (Phil. 2:12), to ‘put to death therefore what is earthly in you’ (Col. 3:5), to ‘walk by the Spirit’ (Gal. 5:16), and to ‘renounce ungodliness and worldly passions’ (Titus 2:12).  Repentance isn’t simply wanting change.  It is doing change….

Repentance isn’t ultimately about us at all.  It’s about God.  It’s becoming so aware of God, his character, and what he has done that we actively seek to turn from sin and pursue righteousness.”

Dave Harvey


Counseling the Incompetent Counselor – Day 10

I saw a bumper sticker a couple days ago and it reminded me that not all change is good.

I’ll keep capitalism, freedom, and my gun

you keep the change.

Facebook recently released a new site layout;  94% of its users said “not good.”  Bank of America stock floated around $55 in January of 2007; today it closed at 17.92 not good.  Once, when I had a bunch of time on my hands, I used a jigsaw and carved off the counter peninsula in our kitchen; when Bob came home not good.  Change can even be bad for your health; studies have shown that significant change in a person’s life is associated with physical illness.  I suppose I should stop saying, “change is good.”

Not surprisingly, the Bible has something to say about change that is not good.  2 Timothy 3:1-10 describes numerous changes in the life of men and women, those that turn them away from God;  these changes are definitely deemed not good.  Probably the most definitive passages illustrating change that is not good though, are those in which Jesus addresses the hypocrites (the Pharisees).  Their righteousness, pursued via external actions rather than heart change, literally damned them to Hell. (Matt 23:27-33)

Like I said yesterday, I want to make sure to get this right!

So how does change, real God honoring heart change, happen?  I know, I have been asking that for days.  Well, here it is…

Scripture.

“All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.” 2 Timothy 3:16-17

Again, not surprisingly, these passages also describe the Biblical process for heart change;  “the only one that scripture sets forth.” (Adams)

Teach

Reprove (convict)

Correct

Train in righteousness

Ahhhh….change I can believe in….


Counseling the Incompetent Counselor – Day 9

Yesterday I got a lesson in what is truly important.

I was at the grocery store (of all places), Harris-Teeter (not AT ALL sure how they came up with the name…Harris family-ya, owns the town…but Teeter?  All I know is that the name became less weird with the knowledge that Carrie Underwood shops at a Harris-Teeter…I digress…) checking out my purchases at the counter when I noticed her.  She was the tiniest lady I had ever seen and, if not for her pleasant demeanor, I may never have noticed her at all.  She was smiling.  Just sitting on a bench by customer service with a grin as big as Switzerland plastered on her face.

It was apparent that many significant events happened within her lifetime.  Her snow-white hair and worn, leathery complexion chronicled war (at least four), most likely the depression (not this one!), perhaps even familiarity of the last banking crisis (the one where once-rich/now-poor people jumped out of buildings).

But she was smiling.

A basically empty shopping cart sat in front of her not quite four-foot frame, a scene not unusual when I notice elderly shoppers; particularly for someone of such stature.  My own groceries began to pile up at the end of the conveyor belt though, and for a moment my attention refocused to my own staples and “needs.” I lost sight of the lil lady.

As I packed up the last of my things, another tiny gray-haired lady appeared.  “They MUST be sisters,” I surmised.  She too had a broad grin on her face and, with little fanfare, she approached the bench and gathered her companion.  I waited patiently as they steadied themselves on the cart and then watched as these two beautiful, petite, contented ladies gracefully headed toward the exit.

It was then I noticed what was in the cart.

1 six-pack of Ensure and 2 four-packs of BareFoot wine.

If and when I get to those advanced years you can bet those will be my priorities!  Food, the type that takes no preparation, and wine.  It is my opinion (remember I used to have one) that these ladies, well advanced in years and wisdom, knew what was truly most important.

JK

However, moving right along on my counseling journey, I want to give more ink to what is truly most important in this soul-seeking adventure; my goal.  What AM I really trying to change… my behavior?  Do I simply want to be a better person, to follow through on commitments I have made in a timely manner and therefore not disappoint others?  Or better yet, I know that sloth is sinful, should holy living my goal? No, says author, biblical counselor and pastor Jay Adams, “Human relationships are a three-way, not a two-way affair.  That means that biblically acceptable change takes into consideration one’s relationships to both God and man….Sanctification, change toward God, is the goal of all Christian counseling.”

If devoid of heart transformation, outward behavior change as well as external physical change that conforms to Gods law might be pleasant for myself and those I interact with but it does not please God.

Sort of important to get this right.

Keep waitin for it…


Counseling the Incompetent Counselor Day 8

Bob’s home.

What that means is I won’t be “talking” to myself on my blog this week.  When Bob is out of town, really wacky things tend to happen.  In addition to revealing my sin on line via a make-believe counselor and fictitious support group, I registered for a class at Reformed Theological Seminary and signed up for a group that will assist me as I continue the process of certification as a Biblical Counselor.

Bob really needs to stay home.

How, you might ask, does a Hair Dresser, mom, wife, homeschooler, shopkeeper, Interior Decorator get to the point of taking theology classes?

It’s my retirement gig.

Actually, it’s been evolving, but certainly intensified with that lil experiment I call, Counseling the Incompetent Counselor.

Which reminds me….

I finished reading Counseling this morning.  The entire book is a sea of yellow highlighter pen.  Before I move forward to my next book, however, (to be announced – wait breathlessly) I really want to gain a strong grasp on this biblical approach to change.  I’ve recognized a behavior problem (sloth), collected data, interpreted the data (just in case you need me to keep repeating it I am a glory grabber), but what now?  Well, it is important to remember that my behavior problem is merely a symptom.  “The primary problem is not our behavior; our hearts have turned from worshiping, serving, fearing, and depending on the one true God.” Mack    For biblical change to happen my heart needs to turn back.  “Godly, biblical change in behavior must always begin with a change in the heart.”

So how does THAT happen?

wait for it….


Logging Efforts

“Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” Matt. 7:3-5

“Gaining perspective has a purpose; ministry to others….My own logging efforts position me for speck-removal.” Dave Harvey


Him in You

“The anointing which you received from Him abides in you, and you have no need for anyone to teach you; but as His anointing teaches you about all things, and is true and is not a lie, and just as it has taught you, you abide in Him.” 1 John 2:27

“That does not mean we have no need for pastors or Bible teachers; God has graciously supplied them for the edification of the church.  The apostle John was talking about teachers of human wisdom.  We who have the Holy Spirit living in us have the ability to comprehend eternal truth.  When it comes to spiritual truth, we have no need of human instruction.”  John MacArthur


Counseling the Incompetent Counselor – Day 7

Grabber Guide:  “Hayeee Ann Mareeeaa!  How ARE yew?!  I am so glad you could take some time to meet with me today!  I’d love to help you dig deep into the vast expanse of sin that has been permeating your life!  Have a seat!”

(Great.  Now I’m interviewing myself …someone call a doctor)

Glory Grabber (that would be me):  “Thanks…….ewwwww! nice chairs!”

Grabber Guide:  “So why don’t you start by telling me a little bit about what brought you here today…”

Glory Grabber:  “Well, it actually began when I was about 7.  I can distinctly remember looking in the bathroom mirror and realizing that I DID NOT look at all like a Barbie doll.  My hair was dark and short, my height was quite a bit taller, and those curves she had were nowhere to be found on my body! (still aren’t)”

Grabber Guide:  “Really?  Hmmmm.”

Glory Grabber:  “Ya, I know, weird.  So then I started noticing that some of my classmates and friends looked similar to me, but some actually looked more like Barbie; especially at my High School.  THEN I began to notice that the ones who looked more like Barbie got more attention, everyone wanted to be their friend.  I decided then and there that I wanted what they had, I wanted everyone to like me/be my friend too.  I just knew that would be where I would find happiness.”

Grabber Guide:  “Well you’re definitely not 7 anymore,” snicker-guffaw, “what does that childhood pursuit look like in your adult life?”

Glory Grabber:  “Funny.  But since you ask, I recently Tweeted that I was ‘waiting to be discovered.’  I even started a FaceBook page on the path to ‘get my face on a book.’  I think in my overly warped mind I thought that THOSE achievements were the secrets to my happiness, much like my 7 year-old brain thought being blonde was the key. As I read the book Counseling, however, I discovered that those things are in fact false hopes.  Wayne Mack says, “False hope is based on human ideas of what is pleasurable and desirable.  Many people think that their problems will disappear if they can just get what they want.”  By hoping for acclaim, adoration, and the love of the masses for the things that I do, I have been stymied!  If I don’t gain fame, I determine that the work I have done was ineffective.  If I DO get praise, it is never enough.  Which led to my lack of motivation to do anything.  Why bother?  Although I would say that the things I did were for God, that he would be glorified by the successful use of the gifts he gave me.  Deep down, as I now realize, I was hoping for a little bit of team glory.  Me-God….God-me…”

Grabber Guide:  “Team Glory, that’s funny.  But what specifically helped you discover this monster of a sin?”

Glory Grabber:  “The renewal of my mind.  ‘For this reason I endure everything for the sake of those who are chosen, that they also may obtain the salvation which is in Christ Jesus and with it eternal glory.’ 2 Timothy 2:10 ‘True hope does not merely focus on the part (an individual life) but also the whole (God’s plan for the universe).  It finds encouragement in the eternal as well as the temporal and in the intangible as well as the tangible.  Instead of being concerned only with what happens in one’s life, true hope is concerned with what happens in the lives of others and whether God receives glory in the events that transpire.’ (Mack)

God revealed yet another part of my life in which it’s not about me.”


Counseling the Incompetent Counselor – Day 6

Hi.  My name is Ann Maree and I am a Glory Grabber.  “Hi Ann Maree…..”

Hence the meeting commences.

There is a circle of chairs, quite comfortable chairs as a matter of fact.  They’re richly upholstered in the finest fabrics from my favorite vendors and I’m sure they cost an arm and a leg –no pun intended.  Around the circle I see familiar faces.  For years I have looked upon these faces with disdain, with indignation, with outright criticism.  But tonight, as I ponder why I am here, it seems that I am actually one of THEM.

A chair creaks; one of the participants makes a nervous sound from their throat and then quietly begins to speak. “It started out so innocently. I am pretty fantastic at blank and, ever since I was a child, I have wanted to share my gift with others.  I simply thought that, if God chose to allow me the opportunity of fame, I would use that platform to speak about Him.”

The crowd nods silently.

“I mean,” his shaky voice continues, “as Reformed thinkers we believe ALL work is redemptive…isn’t that what Calvin said?”  Briefly, I drift away.  In my mind a memory of a favorite song starts to play….

“Is this one for the people? Is this one for the Lord?

Or do I simply serenade for things I must afford?

You can jumble them together, my conflict still remains

Holiness is calling, in the midst of courting fame…”

I think back to why I am here.  It was that stupid blog!  Shoulda never started it in the first place let alone think it would be FUN to blog about my own counseling experience.

Another member of our providential gathering joins the conversation; it’s our Grabber Guide… “While that is a true statement, Calvin also said, ‘All the blessings we enjoy are Divine deposits, committed to our trust on this condition, that they should be dispensed for the benefit of our neighbors.’  I think it is safe to assume that the reason we are all here today is that we have in fact been using our gifts for something quite different…..our glory”

The song in my head resumes…

“Compromise is calling…”

I sigh.  I suppose this is why I have been so unmotivated…. my motives were based on the false hope of my own glory.  Wayne Mack states that hope that “rests on an unbiblical foundation will inevitably crumble.”  And crumble it did…

“What if I stumble, what if I fall?

What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?”

Grabber Guide continues, “We meet back here tomorrow.  I’d like ya’ll to think about the ways in which Grabbing God’s Glory has affected your life


Counseling the Incompetent Counselor – Day 5

My first thought was, “I could delete my blog….then I wouldn’t have to follow through on this silly lil experiment and reveal my sinful nature TO THE WORLD WIDE WEB!!”

Too late (or not, maybe no one is really reading anyway).

As stated, I finished gathering data and found at least one contributing factor to my lack of discipline and motivation; an underactive thyroid (currently undergoing therapy).  Unfortunately I have also discovered another.

SIN.

Now I did not purposely NOT write last week because of this newfound sin.  Rather I was planning a surprise birthday party for a friend (hi Paula!) and knew if I used any illustrations from my life I would trip over my tongue and reveal to ONE OF ONLY TWO READERS of my blog that she was in for a surprise.  So I kept my mouth shut.  No, that wasn’t the surprise.  Anywho, the party was smashing (at least from my perspective) and now I can once again speak.  Are you thrilled?

Back to my sin.

Once the data is gathered by a counselor it needs to be interpreted.  “This process is going to take a tremendous amount of time and effort! Yes, it will take much time and effort.  People are complex and a simplistic approach to helping them almost always fails.  We are not like Jesus, (huh??!!) who knew immediately the thoughts of people when He walked the earth. We certainly cannot take one look at someone and tell that person what he or she needs.  In most cases, we will not even be able to talk to people once and tell them what they need.  The process of interpretation can be somewhat lengthy and extensive.  And although with experience a counselor is able to reach conclusions in less time, we must never get to a point where we are not willing to think long and hard about each person’s problems.”

Unless you are counseling yourself.  Then God plows through with a steamroller and gushes knowledge all over the place.

The filter of interpretation is, not surprising, the Bible.  “What biblical category best describes the person?” “What biblical language best describes the problems this person is experiencing?” “What insights does the Bible provide about the proximate causes of such problems?”

But before I go any further (if I plan this well I can divert your attention indefinitely), let’s pop over to Tim’s blog because it seems counseling yourself is catching on.  His is more fun….http://www.challies.com/archives/articles/personal-reflections/counseling-myself.php


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